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Love Language: A Belbin Perspective Part 2

Sooooo ladies..... did you think about it? Have you figured out what role you play in your relationship? If yes, has it helped you to discover your love language and possibly theirs too? If no, don't you stop reading either, there's more to the story lol!

No matter what "role" you play there is a way to find a harmonious balance whether you think you're the exact opposites or exactly the same. You see, more times the biggest conflicts arise when people are with someone who is too similar to them. Think about it, two stubborn people aka Implementer together isn't going to end well and even if it does it will take a looooong time to get there. On that same principle two people pleasers aka Team-Worker may not have the loudest or longest conflict but they will either switch quick (onto the next person to please) or they will be extremely indecisive.... trust me this trait is hard motherf***ing work.

So let's talk about balance. To create it (balance) there will have to be compromise, recognition, and - at times - lenience. The latter is to be applied to yourself as well as others.

Now I'm not here to feed you these answers, I'm no sociologist, these are just my observations through life.

The Social Roles.

These are your people people lol.

  • Resource investigator

  • Team-worker

  • Co-ordinator

These lot are going to want to hear how much you like what they did for you. They'll generally thrive under praise and any criticism will need to be delivered using the 'Sandwich' method. This means your bread is the sweet stuff aka the compliments, whilst your filling is the bitter - your criticism or not so positive feedback for want of a better phrase. Easily reduced to tears, but this is not necessarily because they're trying to manipulate you it's because they wear their heart on their sleeve and for every time they've made you unhappy, they feel it, so deeply, that they cry.

The Thinking Roles.

Inside or outside the box, their brain is always working.

  • Plant

  • Monitor Evaluator

  • Specialist

This love language has to be deep and meaningful. You can't just tell them they're good at something, you have to explain what about it is good, and why. They will take what you've said and mull it over, sometimes for days. They're most likely to rebuke any negatives you say and probably the positives too, as they don't like the topic of conversation to be about them. They're also very capable of connecting the dots, so to speak. So if they've got a particular habit that you mention in passing they'll analyse the s**t out of it until they find the root cause.

The Action Roles.

The doers, the movers and the shakers.

  • Shaper

  • Implenter

  • Completer/Finisher

Big grand gestures speak to their soul. These lot need that 100% got your back, we are ride or die kind of language. The little mamby-pamby I love you so much is just not enough without the physical to go with it. I don't mean lovey-dovey kisses and cuddles, I mean I said I've got your back so if anyone tries to come at you I'm going to holler back like I've lost my mind. If they're feeling stressed it's time for you to swoop in like batman in the night and whisk them off their feet. The issue is that they're generally reluctant to give up control, they like to know what's going on even when they've handed over the reins. When they trust you, they do it without question but if you let them down it's a long hard road to build trust back again.

All the roles are loveable and worth it when you know and accept what they are. Whether this person is your lover, your mother, your child or your friend, finding what role they are in your relationship will assist you to fluently speak love and life into each other.

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